Monday, June 20, 2005

One Grande Lawsuit With Extra Cream Coming Up

The OxBlog does a hilarious fisking of the WaPo front-page story on the evil empire known as Starbucks. Many attribute this to lack of Bush-is-a-chimp-Nazi-moron-and-the-military-is evil material, but I smell an impending class action lawsuit. How long do you think it'll be before we hear of the horrors of "Big Coffee".

I love their iced chai teas. Can't I get them every once in a while? Please? :)
Hey, it's true: I used to spend a lot of money on their frappachino drinks (ummmm... strawberry and creme...). THEY WERE EXPLOITING ME!!!! Thankfully, I kicked the habit before I let them totally destroy my future.

And think about it: what is an espresso but a coffee with MORE of an addictive substance in it??? And then they add sugar and various flavors to make the drink even more addictive! THEY ARE DELIBERATELY HOOKING AMERICA'S YOUTH!!!!

Was this a parody? Seriously. I mean, one of the reasons given that Starbucks is bad is that law school graduates won't become public defenders because it doesn't pay enough to support their habit or pay off all the debt they incured from sipping too many lattes. That sounds like a parody.

Then again, liberals usually parody themselves pretty well...
No Swinebass, you can't. If everyone in the world can't have one why should you? Down with democarcy & capitalism. Via la Revolution!

Besides, as Jim points out, it's addictive & it might cause you to work in the privet sector.
Very nice site! »
Very nice site! »
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